… Is the only word to describe how tonight’s episode of #LaDona left me!!! This is the latest telenovela on Telemundo and it’s spectacular because it’s crazy, and crazy because it’s so spectacular. 
First of all, I think that Altagracia (Aracely Arambula) who runs a construction empire, really wants to be a Princess: She lives in a castle, she wears a tiara, and she orders everyone around. 

Also, she has a secret dungeon (is there any other kind?) in her basement,where somehow the candles are always magically lit, which is only  one of the mysteries in this great series. 

Clearly, Altagracia is some kind of sorceress, which explains how she always looks so perfect, even when she is under the stress of ordering out a party crasher at gunpoint, or telling her husband (who mightbe the President of Mexico but I’m not sure about this because I’m still learning Spanish from telenovelas), to go somewhere else for sex, or reading chicken bones in her basement after almost setting herself on fire. 

So here’s what happened with Altagracia and her husband who never met  a tube of Brylcreem he couldn’t use a bit more of. 

Altagracia met Saul (David Chocarro), that’s what happened. 

Quite frankly, meeting David Chocarro is a game-changer and I’m amazed that every woman who works on the show hadn’t left her spouse yet.

So even though Altagracia (AG) and Saul hate each other right now because AG  had his father arrested for protesting the construction of her latest mega-high-rise  (and also because he raped and tortured her 30 years ago) and Saul crashed Altagracia’s party and yelled at her, they are on their way to romance because the best novela love affairs are forged in the heat of hatred and yelling and gun-pointing. 

Altagracia knows this is coming because she already told her lawyer to find out all about Saul, plus her sister caught AG repeatedly writing “Mr & Mrs Saul Aguirre,” and “Saul & Altagracia  Aguirre,” and wondering if it’s too soon to change the monogram on the sheets. 

Altagracia’s sister seems nice but the jury is still out on that, since last night she was spying on Altagracia and El Presidente in their bedroom during a very private conversation. 

If she wants to spy on something in that gigantic palace they all live in, I suggest she take a look at that basement dungeon with the perpetually-lit candles, and if she really wants to help her sister when she raises the dead, what about bringing a Magic 8 Ball to the party? 

There are a lot of characters whose motives (and identities) I’m not quite clear on, but that always happens to me in a new novela, and I’ll have it all figured out in the next few days. I do know that AG has a lawyer who is a Very Bad Guy with Very Blue Eyes with I suspect A Very Big Crush on Altagracia. And a Very Big Fist with A Very Bad Temper.

Altagracia can take care of herself, but Saul needs to watch out for this guy. 

Danna Paola is on her way to the DF from Veracruz with her sick and terrified father. She is so kind, beautiful and fresh and pure; she is about to throw a real monkey wrench into Altagracia’s plans and maybe even seances. 

Danna’s character Monica Hernandez sang on the bus all of the way from Veracruz to the D.F., to raise a bit of cash. 

If I was traveling hundreds of miles by bus, anyone singing on that  bus would make a lot of money, mainly because I would pay them not to sing.

So how did Altagracia get rid of her husband for now? Well, as we saw in Episode 1, her husband likes to be choked at a certain critical point during sex, known as “erotic asphyxiation.” By the way, I’m convinced that no one ever heard of this practice before until “Law & Order S.V.U.” made it the plot line of every other script. 

Last night when her husband made a pass at her, she gave him the equivalent of the  “I have a headache” line some woman occasionally trot out, but modified it, claiming she could not strangle him tonight because  her Carpel Tunnel Syndrome was really acting up.

Altagracia told him to go elsewhere, to go to the street for all she cared. But since her sister was openly listening in the doorway to this, something tells me he’ll only have to go right down the hall…

There are a lot of crimes that have happened, and many, many more to come and it’s not to early to bring in my alter-ego “Karen,LaDetective” to look beautiful, glare, and solve crimes. 

I hope she smokes too, but that might be too much to ask for. 

Don’t miss it tonight!

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