Even A Simple Trip To The Grocery Store Is More Exciting In A Telenovela!

The start of the work-week can be tough, unless of course you watch telenovelas on Telemundo, in which case the start of the week can’t come soon enough!!

Don’t like Mondays?

Think Tuesdays are too tough?


Every weekday is a great day if you watch telenovelas on #Telemundo because it’s just another week of mayhem and madness!

In “Al Otro Lado del Muro,” Sofia is having a Very Big Week so far, starting with running into Joel at the grocery store.

Of course she was at first ecstatic because she thinks that the Amor de su Vida has somehow miraculously found her at the Publix, until she realized that Joel had been convinced by a forged autopsy and lying Congressman that Sofia killed his beloved sister and the sobrino she was carrying.

Paula, Governor Martinez’ personal, private henchwoman, and Pastrana, Paula’s personal, Private henchman, did an excellent job of  building a fake case against poor Sofia, but Joel has disappointed me because he believed a Congressman.

My rule of thumb is to do the opposite of what any Congressman says.

I wish they had met up at the Whole Foods or Mariano’s, two fancy grocery stores in Chicago that have a wine and sushi bar, so that Joel could arrest Sofia under more quasi-date-like conditions.

The guy to keep our eye on in all of this continues to be Patrick, Joel’s Interpol Boss and BFF.

Is he part of the conspiracy or not??

As a seasoned law-enforcement professional, I’ll say this:

Patrick is so handsome I might not care.

Typically, criminals are not that handsome unless they are in telenovelas.

I’ve often thought that their bad looks might account for their criminality, and maybe we should be investing less in prisons and more in plastic surgery.

So as we say, the jury is still out on Patrick.

Meanwhile, we are all waiting to see how Steve recovers from the surgery to remove the aneurysm that might have been keeping him from recovering his memory.

However, even if he does remember he might pretend that he does not, because I’ll bet  Eliza is much nicer than his wife plus she’s an excellent baker.

Faking amnesia is something I’d like to try out, and I don’t know why it doesn’t happen more often. There’s really no downside when you think about it.

And just how did Interpol Joel find Sofia?

In Los Angeles?

With no leads?

Not an address or even a hint of an address, addresses from prior arrests, or a list of known associates?

Only lots and lots of head shots of Sofia, because she is so beautiful and was the First Lady of an Unnamed State in Mexico, so there were plenty of photo ops?

Well, armed with the most flattering photos of Sofia, and a budget with apparently unlimited overtime, Joel and Patrick hit the hot streets of L.A., showing her picture all over the place.

They got lucky when they showed Sofia’s photo to a woman who must have been in line with Sofia at the grocery store, because next thing you know, here comes Sofia, pushing a cart through the parking lot, just like the rest of us mere mortals.

At least Joel did not wait for  Sofia to unload her groceries into the hot car before he arrested her.

That would have been extra-painful.

Sofia could not have been happier when she thought Joel found her in the parking lot, and she was grateful that even though she had only gone to the grocery store, she had put on some lipstick and fixed her hair, remembering her mother’s advice that you should always have lipstick on, even to throw out the garbage, because you never know who you will run into.

However, Sofia’s hopes for a romantic reunion were dashed quickly when Joel put her in handcuffs (although for one moment Sofia worried that Joel might be a fan of “50 Shades…, which would have been a deal-breaker).

While Sofia was trying to understand what was happening, Joel was trying to get her to pipe down so he could give Sofia her Miranda rights without interruption, because believe me, if you ever try to give someone their Miranda rights and they keep interrupting you, you have to start all over again from the beginning or you will forget one.

And in the midst of all of this, there was Pastrana, who appears to be the most valuable member of the Governor’s team, shooting at either Sofia or Joel, or both of them.

Joel tried to capture Pastrana but he escaped with the help of two deadly Sicarios.

At the police station in the Interrogation Room, Joel confronted Sofia with the accusation that she killed his sister, which is definitely a conversation killer.

A stunned Sofia sat silent at first, stunned, sobbing, and of course ultimate denyied the accusation.

I could have told Joel this is not the best way to start questioning someone, if you want to get anywhere.

He should have offered her something to eat and drink, and a cigarette. A good interrogation always begins with good manners.

But Joel was never going to get anywhere with Sofia because The Lawyer No One Called For showed up.

If Joel had ever worked in Chicago he would have known the age-old saying: “You Don’t Want Nobody Nobody Sent For.”

That’s when the alarm goes off!

But he left Sofia alone with The Lawyer She Never Hired. Bad bad move.

Once this lawyer could not get a bond for Sofia, he began asking her about her daughter.

Sofia was already suspicious of him because the day before he suggested she call her daughter.

Now he wanted to know where she was, and it wasn’t to have the 10 year-old Alondra sign the contract.

Sofia realized that it was her husband who hired him!

Without a bond and without her daughter, Sofia will have to await trial in jail.

And meanwhile, her BFF Eliza, worried that Sofia never made it back from the store, went looking for her with Andres The Carpenter.

There was Sofia’s truck, and an excited bagboy to fill them in on what happened.

I’m pretty sure that the groceries were spoiled by the time Eliza and Andres got there.

Meanwhile, Max, married to Eliza, but Emotionally & Unlawfully Restrained by his Other Wife, Jennifer, has been stalking his family with Eliza, sitting in his car and watching them having a great time without him.

And Max’s battle-axe of a wife Jennifer (who would get along great with Andres Battle-Axe of a Wife, Maria) is stalking Max.

To paraphrase the great line from the movie “My Best Friend’s Wedding:”

“But Jennifer, who is stalking  you?”

This series is Absolutely Fabulous!!!

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