Welcome to Monday!
Whoever says that?!?!
I never did, not until I started watching telenovelas to learn English! Now, I look forward to Monday because Monday starts a new week of plots, schemes, and extremely great-looking people making extraordinarily bad decisions.
Let’s start with #LaDona on #Telemundo.
I know that a lot of people think that Altagracia is about to kill herself because she is walking into the ocean in her very long white cotton dress, which could weigh her down as it gets wet because that’s what happens with a long cotton dress, but I say No Way is that happening:
First of all, this series just started and she is LaDona, so it seems extremely unlikely that Aracely Arambula would be knocked off in the first two weeks, unless her ghost plans on getting her revenge for the next 5 months. This is another way to go since that ghost would feel right at home in her scary dungeon basement where there are at least 100 candles lit at all time, and pictures of her dead family on the wall. But I still don’t think it’s happening.
Second, just in case she was thinking of killing herself, luckily for us, Saul got a flat tire exactly where she parked her car, and David Chocarro looks like a strong swimmer, so the only question is whether his Baywatch moves will lead to the full-metal makeout we are waiting for.
Third, and most importantly, Altagracia’s entire life revolves around being mean to just about everyone, humiliating her husband at every turn, and using her building foundations to bury her enemies in. This is not the type of personality disorder that leads to suicide, unless it’s the suicide of others. I guarantee Altagracia has a t-shirt somewhere that says “I don’t get ulcers, I give them.”
So don’t worry about Altagracia tonight, because she’ll be just fine.
You want to worry? There’s plenty of other people to worry about, starting with Monica and her father.
Monica doesn’t know Altagracia is her mother, but her father knows, and her father also knows that he is not her father, who might the awful, evil guy who has that weird tattoo on his chest who owns a shipping company and is a serial rapist.
Monica’s father needs $5,000 for an operation so he can walk again. In the USA, that doesn’t seem like a lot of money for that major of an operation, because in hospitals in the USA, an aspirin costs $1,750.
Monica is going up try to raise this money by riding her bike and selling sandwiches. This plan will work if she sells these sandwiches at my office because we are all really hungry all of the time. We eat everything anyone puts out, whether we know where it came from or not. Monica could raise that 5 GRAND pretty quickly.
This need for money will I’m sure play into a lot of dramatics in the plot. It’s s good thing that people in Novelas don’t have Obamacare because many of the exciting plots in Novelas come from people not having the money to pay for medical care. In Novelas, characters take paying their medical bills very seriously.
And of course the most exciting twist in “La Dona” is the long-anticipated appearance of #KarenLaDetective, the first character in a telenovela inspired by me- true story!!
Karen is beautiful, smart, fearless, tireless, and so far, only differs from Chicago detectives in that we haven’t seen her spend at least an hour debating where to eat lunch.
We can’t wait to see what happens tonight!
Watch #LaDona on #Telemundo and keep reading me here! If you like it, please leave a comment, share with your friends, of in someway please let me know you’re out there!!