CAN THESE REVENGE MARRIAGES BE SAVED?

CAN THESE REVENGE-MARRIAGES BE SAVED??

That is the central question posed by the return, 20 years later, of the extremely popular telenovela “Pasion de Gavilanes” which is Spanish for “Passion of the Hawks.” (I don’t know much about nature, but that sounds like something you never want to get in the middle of.)

I don’t know who came up with the idea of revisiting a 20-year old telenovela for a second season, but whoever it was deserves a Nobel Prize.

I’d like to see this happen for every single telenovela I ever watched!
And after that idea runs it’s course, I’d like to see how everyone who was ever killed in a telenovela carries on in the Afterlife. The possibilities are endless!

This Second Season of PDG is the ultimate “Where Are They Now, and What Do They Look Like?”
Well, let’s clear that up right now: If you were hoping that some of the characters gained weight or lost hair, (or ideally both) you can forget that idea right now.

This is a telenovela, so by law, the actors have to be the best-looking people on the planet.
20 years later, they are only better-looking.
So much so that I can’t tell the original cast apart from their teenage children.
They all look like they are college sophomores on their way to a fun Frat party.

In the original show, the 3 Reyes Brothers married the 3 Elizondo sisters to get revenge on the girls’ mother, the battle-axe Mrs Elizondo, because Mrs Elizondo drove the pregnant Reyes sister (who had been having an affair with Mr Elizondo, who was killed in a horse accident) to commit suicide.

I was never sure how marrying Mrs Elizondo’s daughter constituted revenge for the Reyes boys, unless they were thinking about her having to foot that big catering bill and also having to go shopping for 3 wedding dresses, not to mention the seating arrangements.

For as high and mighty as Mrs Elizondo was, she was hiding a delicious secret:
She had forced her daughter Norma to marry a Very Bad Guy named Fernando, and then forced Norma and Fernando to live on the ranch with her because Mrs Elizondo and Fernando were having a super-torrid affair which was fueled by the fact that Norma would not have sex with her own husband Fernando. Not because she knew about the affair but because she was haunted by a rape.

Well when the 3 Reyes Brothers (assuming false identities) show up on the Elizondo ranch, ostensibly to build a cabin on the property, the 3 Elizondo Sisters do not know that since their dead father had fathered a child with the dead Reyes sister they are all practically related in a way that cannot be understood unless you’re really good at algebra.

Of course all of the Reyes/Elizondo couples fall in love and Mrs Elizondo is somehow forgiven, and after overcoming a lot of obstacles, including the super-sexy and super-persistent nightclub singer Rosario Montes, Love Conquers All By Marrying It or Killing It.

So now it’s 20 years later (in Season 2) and the 3 Happy Couples don’t seem so happy (except for Norma and Juan), who still swoon over each other, and ride horses everywhere, even to court.
Where they have to go after their twin sons (who no one seems to like very much), are accused of kidnapping and murdering a local, popular schoolteacher.
When people are killed in a telenovela, popularity counts very much, which was an idea I always tried to incorporate into my murder trials when I was a prosecutor.
No matter how old we get, we are all still in 7th grade.

I think the key to Norma and Juan’s happy marriage has been their shared love of denim, horses, cowboy hats, and not living with Mrs Elizondo.

As for the other two couples, both marriages are definitely on the rocks:
Franco & Sara are living apart, and Sara glares every time she hears the name of the nightclub singer, so I think she thinks Franco is back with her. They have two teenage kids who seem a lot nicer than the Evil Twins of Norma and Juan.

And as for Jimena and Oscar, Jimena just had a big fashion show in Milan and Oscar still lives on the ranch, so without that mutual bond of Denim, and no kids, I’m not sure if this Revenge Marriage can sustain itself.

Meanwhile, the Reyes Twins might be getting out on Home Monitoring for the murder, because everyone respects Juan, abd his ability to keep his kids locked up on the ranch.

Everyone of course except for the teacher’s son, who is leading the townspeople against the release, which makes Juan nervous because he has a dream where the townspeople turn against him and act just like the villagers in “Frankenstein.”

I’m prepared to hate the Reyes Twins as much as just about every other character in the show does, but I’m not sure what the evidence is against them yet:
So far, I think it’s a tip, and the “Everybody Knows” standard, as in “Everybody Knows you two hated the teacher because he gave you well-deserved bad grades.”

Again, when I was a prosecutor, the “Everybody Knows” standard was a new standard for the Burden of Proof I lobbied for. Hard.
If only I could have used that, instead of the super-annoying “Beyond A Reasonable Doubt,”
I could have spent more time in my office smoking, drinking vats of Diet Coke, making plans for what I was going to do that night.

And Rosario the Nightclub singer is back in town, with a tiny, annoying German butler named “Gunter,” who follows her everywhere with her bottle of wine and portable tumbler, and the only time he’s not with her is when he’s plotting against her.
Rosario plans on bringing the old nightclub back to town!
Can’t wait for Franco to hear about the Grand Opening!!

Watch the next episode tonight and read all about it the next day here!

Back Then…
…And now!